driving with Bob*

*name has been changed

So we got lost….

And you have no idea how lost we got…

First we kind of just drove straight…then Bob had this brilliant idea to call the person (Abby) whose house we were trying to get to, to you know, actually find out where her house was…and so we drove in the “direction of Abby’s house”…aaand a little later we drove in the opposite direction…because you see…Bob has no idea where north and south are….

Bob has a tendency to drive in the middle of the street. That is until you tell him that he is driving directly in the middle of both lanes, and then he will notice and maybe switch to only one of the lanes….

Bob also comes to a complete stop in the middle of the road while looking for something in the car…

After about 30 minutes of driving…Bob had to take a piss…so we stopped at a 7/11…when Bob…(surprisingly he didn’t have to ask for directions to find the bathroom) pulled out THE MAP…

This is when I decided that I had to take a piss as well ..since it was obviously going to be a long…er…drive

After being even more confused by the map (there was no “you are here!” X mark)…Bob decided to call Abby (for the 5th time) to ask for directions…

We left the 7/11

After driving around for 30 more minutes…I finally decided to take the matter into my own hands and talk to Allan myself, Allan was the patient one giving Bob directions over the phone..

Handing me the phone was the smartest thing Bob has ever done…and as he admits himself…. He really does “need a woman to tell [him] where to go”

So since we were driving in the wrong direction all along…Bob had to make a U-turn…while trying to accomplish this difficult task…Bob backed up into the curb.

Under my command we got to the house in about 10 mins…but sadly.. by that time everyone had to leave…

Since Scott was driving me home…somebody had to explain to ..Bob…how to get out of the neighborhood and back to his house…